The one thing I miss most during the winter season is the sun, I love the sun. I love the energy it gives off, I love the way it makes everything shine bright, I love the heat against my skin. Yet during the winter it feels so far away from me, so unreachable. You know whats hilarious? The sun is actually closer to earth during the winter season than it is in the summer. Weird right? If you don’t believe me, just Google it (I did!). Doesn’t it sometimes feel like when God is far away from us, he’s actually closer to us than we think.
I recently thought everything in my life was going great, everything seemed to be working out the way I wanted it to. That was the problem though, It’s not about my way. All these things I viewed as “blessings” in my life were actually distractions in my life. If you’ve ever stared at the sun for even a moment, you have this moment when you look away of blurriness an those little white floaty things everywhere. That’s how I felt, all of sudden these “blessings” were being taken away and I didn’t have any clarity in it. Everywhere I looked was blurry, I felt very far away.
The past few weekends have been nightmarish for me, I felt so cold (It wasn’t the weather!) , I felt like giving up on everything, I had this idea of where my life is headed and everything in front of me was the complete opposite. I love the story of Jesus healing the blind man by spitting on him (gross) but never the less a very truthful story. God doesn’t operate the way we do, His thoughts are not our thoughts. In the moment when everything was falling apart around me, I couldn’t understand it. I’m sure when Jesus initially spit on the man, he didn’t realize what was about to happen next.
Everything God does is the complete opposite of our understanding, It’s not about understanding our ways. It’s about truly understanding who God is, so when this moments come in our life, when we feel like someone has spit in our face to blind us, it’s actually so we can see. Its to remember that everything God does is backwards.