I’m afraid of a lot of things. Things that most people are afraid of, spiders, rejection, death and being alone. The one thing that terrifies me the most is being paralyzed. The idea of never being able to walk or run again absolutely sends chills down my spine. The funny thing is, I find myself in life sometimes being paralyzed, maybe not in a physical sense. In a relational or emotional sense, I find myself time after time in my life being absolutely paralyzed by things, whether its addictions or friendships dragging me down. On the outside I’m walking around like a free man, but on the inside I feel as if im in a wheelchair staring at a staircase wondering how the hell I’m going to get up it.
One of my favorite movies so far this summer has X-men: Days of future past, one of my favorite things about the movie is the inner struggle we see professor Xavier face. Don’t get me wrong the fight scenes and anything with wolverine are my pretty much the best thing to ever happen, that said the inner struggle professor Xavier faced really hit home for me. Professor X is actually paralyzed, but thanks to a “miracle drug” it gives him the ability to walk. The only catch is the drug also takes away his psychic abilities, so he’s sill paralyzed in a sense. Sure he can walk around and throw a Frisbee with the other x-men but now he no longer has the power that makes him the most powerful mutant in the world.
Isn’t it funny how as people we tend to do the same things to ourselves? In order to make ourselves feel better or validated we take something or do something to “fit in” and in the end were still paralyzed. Were still unable to become the people we were meant to be, he sacrificed his gift to gain something that he thought was going to help him but in the end it was only hindering him. He was scared of his power, his power is what got him paralyzed in the first place. The one thing in life were gifted at usually ends up getting us hurt so we just quit and turn to the thing that we think will make us strong or funny or whatever it is you think will help you.
In the end though, he had to make a choice. In order to save the world, save his friends and get out of his depression he had to let it go (*cough* frozen). He had to stop taking the drug, he had to come face to face with the reality of his situation. Sure he was paralyzed, his days of snowboarding or surfing were over. But he had something so much more powerful, his psychic abilities would end up taking him places that he never thought possible, he would go on to create the x-men and become the most powerful mutant in the world.
Now I know what you’re thinking, Mike why the hell are you telling me about this fictional character, I’m telling you about him because he’s really not that fictional. We see people like that everyday, people who hold onto something so bad, because they think its whats going to make their life better. There so gifted in something, but because they were hurt in the past they refuse to every try it again. I refuse to allow myself to become paralyzed by anything in my life. Sure I’m afraid of becoming physically paralyzed, but I would much rather have to take the wheelchair ramp up to the Oscars than to walk up the stairs to a dead-end job.